Are You A Mr. Assertive Or A Mr. Aggressive

Are You A Mr. Assertive Or A Mr. Aggressive?



One of the most essential skills needed in handling people and situations is assertiveness. You are assertive if you are clear in letting others know about your expectations without any anxiety or hesitation. This is one area of development to be focused on when coaching executives. Many in management sectors confuse ‘assertiveness’ with ‘aggressiveness.’


What are some of the differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness?


If you are assertiive you ask people of what you want directly and openly. There is an air of reassurance and confident around you at all times. While you do ask for your wants and preferences, you make sure to respect other people’s rights and you do not expect others to know what is on your mind without expressing yourself.


If you are aggressive you try to get what you want in someway or the other and you may often cause bad feelings in others. You may resort to different tactics - request, beg, entice, persuade, manipulate or threaten as your means to get what you want. In the process you do not respect other’s rights or feelings. You do not even look into situations that may get both sides what they want, such as win-win situations.


Aggressive behavior might help one to achieve immediate or short-term results but the longer outcome is a steady decline in performance due to unpopularity and non- cooperation from others who are often victims of aggressive or bullying behavior. With the result the aggressive person ends up being over stressed and depressed. Mr. Aggressive is often not supported by his colleagues and is therefore unable to reach his goals in his career.


Mr. Assertive is able to lead, direct and motivate without much of huff and puff. Since he already is clear about what he wants and is able to convince others without hurting their sentiments and feelings he is popular among employees and he gets good cooperation from his colleagues.


An assertive person is able to give unequivocal direction and leadership through his positive motivational messages to his team members. As a result he is able to achieve his goals sooner and rises up the corporate ladder easily. Body language is an important factor of assertiveness. You could keep the following in mind if you would like to develop assertiveness:


  • A warm smile or a friendly expression shows respect to your listener


  • Maintaining eye contact shows that you are actively listening to the other person


  • A relaxed and straight stance should be adopted during communications


  • Your hands should be kept in an open position to show candidness.


Assertiveness in appropriate situations is bound to win you friends and supporters in your career and in society.