Carrying Grudges

Carrying Grudges


Even the most even-tempered person in the world would feel slighted once in a while. And if your feelings were hurt by someone else, its easy to carry grudges around. Unfortunately, grudges are like luggage – the stuff inside is important but if you carry it around all the time, you will start to feel the weight and the bothersome discomfort of hauling around something that big. Okay you were the one in the right and the other person was the one who committed the wrongdoing. But admit it – carrying that grudge becomes old, right? You’d reach a point where it even sours your outlook in life. So, why don’t you do something about it?


First, don’t wait for the other person to apologize. Look back and think about what happened and then start forgetting about it. Realize that you are giving too much power to the other person by allowing the hurt to rule your emotions. So rise above that emotion and forget. Eventually, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive the offender.  


You can also place yourself in the other guy’s shoes. Imagine if you’re the one who, knowingly or unknowingly, offended somebody else. You would want to be forgiven too right? Always remember that no one’s perfect and you can’t always be in control of your actions. A great example is when you suddenly blurt out a comment about someone’s hair or clothes or weight and it was taken as a criticism rather than just a simple remark. You never meant to hurt but it happened. So too should you view the offense done to you.


If you have to do something physical about the grudge, opt to talk to the other person about it. If you are able to re-establish your connection with the other party, start with a simple greeting and work from there. Even if you can’t get the relationship back on the previous level, it doesn’t matter. It will take time to repair a connection no matter how small the grudge is.  However, if you can’t bring yourself to approach the offender or you’re not interested in getting the friendship back, do something symbolic to lay the grudge to rest. You can write about it and just burn the paper or tear it up into little pieces before tossing it all away. Just do something to let the hurt go.  


Once you let go of the grudge, you’ll feel free and, for lack of a better word, lighter than before.