Enhancing Esteem Within The Family

Enhancing Esteem within the Family



Enhancing esteem is pretty much a family matter; and if it doesn't happen there, it is doubtful it will happen anywhere. Enhancing your child's self-esteem is next to the greatest contribution you can make in your child's life. The greatest, of course, is helping him cultivate a meaningful life. It should be realized that without a healthy and wholesome self-esteem, you are not able to freely and fully love someone else. You don't give yourself to others or consider them valuable if you don’t first of all consider yourself worthy.


People who reach adulthood with a good self-image have the ability to draw out from within themselves the things that are worthwhile, to focus clearly on them. Such individuals are secure, resourceful, and competent to handle what life throws at them.


When a man really loves himself, he knows what is within him and brings it out. No matter how strong the peer pressure around him may be, he refuses to bend and give in. The same concept is similar in a family setting.


A mother who sees talent and abilities in her child is able to draw them out from the child. She "warms" and protects, so her child can discover, "I have talent… I have ability." In the frenzied and hurried world in which we live, it is easy to lose sight of the gifts and to miss the beauty of it all. The primary secret of enhancing self-esteem? Nourish and cherish.


Children who experience being loved and accepted as they are, who do not feel their basic worth is continually on trial in their parents' eyes, have a priceless advantage in the formation of healthy self-esteem.


According to the book 'The Antecedent Of Self-esteem", a child's self-esteem is not related to family wealth, education, geographic living area, social class, father's occupation, or always having a mother at home. What is significant is the quality of the relationship that exists between the child and the significant adults in his or her life. According to the author, four conditions are associated with high self-esteem in kids:


  • The child experiences full acceptance of thoughts, feelings, and the value of his or her being


  • The child moves in a context of clearly defined and enforced limits that are fair, non-oppressive, and negotiable


  • The child experiences respect for his or her dignity as a human being. The parents take the child's needs and wishes seriously and the

parents are willing to negotiate family rules within carefully drawn     limits.


  • The parents tend to enjoy a high level of self-esteem.


Parents and teachers are not omnipotent with regard to a child's self-esteem, but neither are they powerless. Parents, therefore, need to consider the nature of their influence of which they have the ability to exercise. As food for thought to parents: "Be careful what you say to your children, they may agree with you." Before calling a child "stupid" or "bad", it is important for a parent to consider the question "Is this how I wish my child to experience himself or herself?"


Bring out from within your children a respect for authority. It is the parents' task to discipline their kids so that they bring out from within them a desire to follow careful instructions from those in power. A child must develop a good, strong self-esteem. Nothing can substitute for it. It is never automatic. The secret rests with parents who are committed to doing everything possible to make it happen.