Five Things You Can Do To Resolve Conflict
Disagreements are inevitable.
Because each human being is equipped with the facility to think for himself or herself, it is but natural that nobody really sees eye-to-eye at all times. However, because we sometimes passionately want other people to share our view, we often end up fighting with them. While disagreeing on some points is healthy in human communication, too much conflict and bad blood between people could also lead to pain and destruction.
You can get rid of the pressure of conflict at the onset. Before you go hating and finding yourself friendless, try these five tips to prevent communication problems from escalating to uncontrollable levels:
1) Talk it over.
You will not be able to resolve anything if you keep raising your voice a notch higher every time the other person does. Before you know it, you will be engaged in a screaming match and you do not even know why and how you got there. People tend to blurt out hurtful things they do not really mean during a heated argument. It is, thus, prudent and less stressful for both parties to talk the issue over. If you find that you cannot talk to the other person calmly just yet, suggest time off, and then meet at another time, when heads are cooler and rationalities are calmer.
2) Make a list.
Before you go banging on the other person's door, make a list of the things you need to say or ask. Write this list while you are still calm and stick to it once you have finally faced the other person. More importantly, go over it with your head intact. It is possible to resolve a conflict while keeping integrity intact.
3) Think happy thoughts.
When you find yourself about to get into a heated word war with another person, pause for a moment and think about the things that you are about to say. Try to distract yourself by thinking about the good things this other person has done for you, even in the smallest of ways. Once you have doused water over your growing fire, only then will you be able to discuss matters with him or her in a rational way.
4) Do not respond to his or her banter.
If the other person cannot seem to control himself or herself, do not aggravate the situation by being the same way. Listen and talk only after he or she is finished. Chances are, once he or she has said his or her piece, the air will be much calmer.
5) Try making a joke.
This is good only if the issue is not too grave and if you know the other person very well. Some people might misinterpret your humor as making fun of their situation, so tread carefully.
There is no disagreement that cannot be solved if you resort to rational means. Spitting out obscenities and foul words will not make the other person understand you better.
However, if you sit down, learn to listen, and then calmly explain your side (without forcing your ideas upon the other party); you will both arrive at a compromise or a situation that benefits you both. It might not be the best for either of you at that moment. At least, it is something that you can start working on to come up with a win-win situation.