Forgive and Forget and Feel Better
Is it possible to forgive someone truly from the bottom of our heart? We could say that the ability to forgive lies in direct proportion to the degree of the harm done. Still forgiving is better than harboring enmity. When you harbor negative thoughts of revenge and harm against your enemy your enemy would not suffer from those thoughts. But you certainly would have bad effects. Your thoughts could linger in your mind and smother positive feelings. In order to replace the poison of negativity with pure air of positive thoughts, you should consciously take the action of forgiving. Forgiveness is possible and it is necessary for your physical and mental health. Research shows that people who forgive show lesser depression, anger and stress and have more positive attitude in life. Psychologists say that forgiveness help save on the wear and tear of our organs and reduce the wearing out of the immune system.
You could try these tips to forgive and forget:
Learn to calm yourself: Stress-management techniques help you resolve anger. Take a couple of deep breaths when you feel anger or pain from your past memories. Instead, think of some pleasant memories.
Do not expect an apology: If the other person perceives things differently he or she may not have even meant to hurt you. When you understand this possibility you also realize that the other person obviously is not going to apologize. Do not expect an apology and just let go of the incident, because it not going to come and you would be brooding over it unnecessarily. If, the other person apologizes, you must be willing and open to accept it in order to forgive and forget and put the matter behind you.
Acknowledge the benefits of forgiveness: Numerous studies have shown that people who forgive reap better health benefits, increased energy, better appetite and sleep. You could check health websites online that focus on this area.
Do not blame yourself: You are only human and it is natural to make mistakes in life. Accept yourself first so that you do not blame yourself. If you blame yourself forgiving poses a bigger challenge and your self-confidence is lowered.
First forgive yourself: Sometimes when you do not own or accept responsibility for a particular incident, you tend to blame the other person. In that case you may be harboring anger at yourself, which you may be projecting on the other person. It would be wise for you to accept responsibility and forgive yourself first. Once you forgive yourself, you would realize that the other person is not responsible and it comes easier to forgive the other person.
Forgiving makes you feel better.